Shall We Dance?

Tonight, I heard some horrible news about a person that I haven't thought about in 20 years. Now, I can't stop thinking about him.

M and I were casual friends in high school. We were in choir together for four years, and had always been friendly. We got to know each other much better when we were cast across from each other as the leads in The King and I our senior year.

I have always hated to dance. I have no sense of grace and have always been so clumsy. Of course, one of the most important scenes in the show was when Anna showed the King how to polka. We rehearsed that scene for weeks and weeks and weeks, and finally got to the point where it looked like I was leading but he still was. He was always patient, and gracious, and never made me feel like the clumsy oaf that I was.

One night during a show, it all seemed to click. We whirled around the stage, hoopskirts and all, and ended the scene with a flourish as he spun me around. Oddly enough, I didn't fall or trip, and it felt so natural. We threw our heads back and laughed as the audience applauded.

Last Friday, M was hit by a car as he was scraping frost off of his back window. He lost one of his legs at the scene, and is in danger of losing his other one as well.

I can only pray that he will have the strength to get through this and will dance with his daughter at her wedding. Maybe not a polka, but a precious dance just the same.

Today's Lesson

If you go to WalMart after work, and there are a number of parking spaces right in front of one of the doors, that is because that door is locked for the evening. Either move your car or quit whining about the walk. Be grateful that it's not raining.

Daily Agenda

1. Wake up grudgingly. Curse creatively in various languages.
   
2. Shower and dress in something other than pajamas.
3. Grab something for lunch and/or dinner before running out the door.
4. Wear self out running around at work.
   
5. Focus on the dark drive home.
6. Wash, brush. Have emotional reunion with pajamas.
7. Crash.
8. Repeat.
   

Subversive Thought of the Day

There are a whole lot of ugly babies out there.

Five for Friday

Let's change things up a little this week.

Musicians that I will always turn up:

1. Josh Rouse
2. Radiohead
3. Mark Knopfler/Dire Straits
   
4. Indigo Girls
5. Aimee Mann
6. The Replacements
   

Musicians that I will turn off so quickly that I might break a nail:

1. The Pretenders
2. The Black Crowes
3. Smashing Pumpkins
4. Shawn Mullins
5. Neil Young
6. New Radicals
7. Lenny Kravitz
   

Musicians that annoy me because they name songs after themselves:

1. Train
2. Stray Cats
3. Bad Company
   

The Glory of a Full Day Off

1. To get hair cut or not to get hair cut? That is the question.
2. My pajamas have missed me, and have been greatly confused by the fact that they spend more time in a heap on the bathroom floor than on my body.
3. The girls have missed me as well, and are curled up in bed with me RIGHT NOW.
   
4. Want a glass of wine? Rock on!
5. Daytime TV is still crap, but On Demand is always an option.
   
6. Or, there's always Battlestar Galactica episodes to rewatch obsessively.
7. I can harvest my farm on Facebook whenever I want to!
8. Sleepy. Must take nap now.
   

Life is good.

The Crud

I have had various stages of The Crud for the last two weeks. I'm not even sure if it's the same Crud, but it feels like it. It's not the flu, because that's upper respiratory, and this Crud is striking in different areas. I realize that I have no immune system to speak of, but I have been eating and sleeping better. I'm certainly getting a lot of exercise.

Am I going to feel like this all winter? Oh, please, no. I should just be grateful that I have a FULL DAY OFF today and get lots of sleep.

Both cats have been circling me like I'm about to die imminently and they want to scavenge my carcass.

Quote of the Day

"After all the misery and the f*cking bulllsh*t, is that all there is?"

-Tony Soprano

Word.

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. Panera. I wish that there was one here in town. But, on the other hand, it means that I eat fewer bagels. Not necessarily a bad thing.
   
2. Paychecks, and going to the bank to deposit them.
   
3. Having H pull on my neck when it gets too tight.
4. Knowing that the bills are paid.
5. The beautiful new rosary that J bought for me at the Vatican.
   
6. The fact that saying that same new rosary puts me right to sleep without meds. Should I feel guilty about this? I think not. The Blessed Virgin wants me to sleep soundly.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. People that drive 20 miles under the speed limit when it rains.
   
2. People that wear slippers out in public. I saw three of them tonight in the course of an hour at Job #1. And, it was raining! Are you too lazy to tie your shoes???
3. Not being able to take a bath without a cat bursting into the bathroom and whining at me.
4. Not having done Yoga for a few weeks.
5. Bastards that abuse poor, defenseless little animals and kids.
   

Wow. I guess that I'm happier than I thought.

The Best of Intentions

I found an amazing recipe in the NYT for a potato gratin with leeks and Gruyere. I bought all of the ingredients, and then promptly forgot about it.

The leeks got rotten quickly and I threw them out. They're root vegetables! They're not supposed to rot!

I'm eating the Gruyere now with a glass of Magellan Gin. I'm not sure that it's the ideal pairing, but I love it.

Now, I have to figure out what to do with the ton and a half of potatoes.

What is Right?

I am adrift.

On some level, I should enjoy my lack of responsibility. I should also enjoy the exercise that I'm getting and the love that I feel from my co-workers. But, I can't do this forever. Not just because of the money, of course, but because I'm hard wired to accept more responsibility than this. I need to be in charge of something, even if it's just refilling the minis in the display case. Paying bills doesn't count.

The good thing is, that with the exception of the excruciating sinus headache today that kept me home from Job #2, I have been feeling much better over all. Tired, yes, but able to work and work and work. I think that I need to carve out time off every week so that I can get some solid rest.

I also chatted with R tonight about the half marathon next spring. He thinks that I should train to walk it, mostly because of the Crohn's, and run some of it as a bonus if I can. That's a noble idea. I'm getting to the point where I think that I could do that. And, I'm losing weight even though I'm not really trying. That always helps.

Shame on Me

I wish that H would go upstairs so that I could change the channel away from the CMAs. I really, really hate Country music.

Observations on an Honest Day's Work

The last two days have been stressful at both jobs. Some basic reasons why:

1. Many Mommies tend to either forget or ignore that their kids need breaks, food, and naps. If the kid is screaming, it's usually for a reason.
   
2. Some people look down on those that work retail. Do they think that we're uneducated or stupid or both?
   
3. I need to invest in some really good shoes.
   
4. Tylenol works best when you take it when you first need it, not when the pain gets intense.
   
5. Always bring an extra bottle of water.
   
6. Avoid the food court.
   

I am really enjoying both jobs. Granted, I would like to make a little more money, but this is so good for me. Not only am I getting a ton of exercise, I feel NEEDED. It has been a long time since I've felt needed. There is so much satisfaction in knocking out a lengthy to-do list and then going beyond that. And, at both jobs, I can look back on the day and know that I accomplished something tangible.

H says that he's proud of how hard I'm working and how well I'm holding up. I just wish that I wasn't so bloody tired all of the time.

Yuck

For what it's worth, I can live without dirty gin martinis. Dirty vodka martinis are slightly better, but not much.

I'd rather eat the olives by themselves.

Stocking the Freezer

Pork Tenderloins were on sale at Publix. I bought three of them, split them in half, prepared a marinade of apple butter, apple cider with brandy, and spices, and threw the six baggies in the freezer.

H's mom was kind enough to send us more stuff from Omaha Steaks.

And, when I have felt like cooking, I've made extra large batches so I can freeze some of it right away. There is one more container of Greek Cinnamon Chicken in there ready to go.

It's tiring to think about, but at least we'll have good stuff to eat even when I'm working 60 hour weeks. I need to get the crock pot fired up as well.

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. The Formula Shiraz/Cabernet.
2. Bright red maple trees.
   
3. Gas for only $1.95.
4. The big Tiffany's catalog that we couldn't afford to buy anything from.
5. Making lists of cookies to bake and gifts to buy for Christmas.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Customers. They all drove me nuts today.
2. The big Tiffany's catalog that we couldn't afford to buy anything from.
3. The fact that everyone in TN is freaking out because the temperature has dropped below 70. It's still t-shirt weather, folks!
4. Snark about Obama and his choices for his advisors.
   
5. Having to pay bills.
   

Job situation

So, for clarity's sake, let's call the wine store Job #1. I spend most of my time there, and I love it.

J from Job #1's wife manages two children's clothing stores at the mall. When the whole disaster happened, he called her and hooked me up with a part-time gig.

Yes, it is true that I don't like children. And yes, it is also true that I don't want to get back into retail like that. But, it's fabulous exercise and it brings in extra $. As we are all about the Benjamins these days, it fits. And, it keeps me from laying around in bed all day sleeping. So, I will listen to the screaming and dodge the mommies and see if something interesting comes of it.

If nothing else, it will cover the car payments. That is brilliant.

Aftermath

Hearing "President-Elect Obama" makes me grin from ear to ear.

On a not so happy note, I was at Publix tonight after Job #2. Or is that Job #3? Let's make it Job #2. Anyway, there I was in the cheese case, minding my own business and thrilled that I was almost done shopping, when I was approached by a guy in a hair net. He wanted to know if we talked about politics at my work today.

Actually, no. I spent the day dodging strollers while hung over, so there were no discussions of politics.

He went on to say that he was sure that the only reason why Obama was elected was because people hate Bush. He couldn't imagine any other reason.

I can think of lots of reasons, my friend. Bush is just the tip of the iceberg.

One more reason to avoid going to the grocery store.

A Deep Breath

I feel hopeful.

And, I'd really like to know what constitutes a blowout.

Heh. That's not nice. This is a time for renewal, not divisiveness. Seriously.

Live Blogging?

This could be disastrous, but I'll give it a shot.

7:11 How interesting that Obama is celebrating in Grant Park with the masses but McCain is at the Biltmore in Phoenix. I wish more than anything that I could be with T at the Congress Hotel right now.

7:17 I still have a hard time accepting that I live not only in a Red state, but also one that has such incredibly stringent liquor laws. The local ballots are rife with referendums on booze.

7:25 I meant well to have windows open for the Trib, Tennessean, Washington Post and NYT, but it's making me crazy. I'll stop messing with it once my guests get here imminently.

7:32 Soledad and Bill's exit polling graph makes my head explode.

7:58 T just called me from Grant Park. Rumors abound. I have promised to text her when anything interesting happens.

8:17 More and more Senate seats for the Blue guys.

8:25 Mitch McConnell. Blech.

8:42 Need mind bleach to stop thinking lascivious thoughts about John King.

9:07 Pundits are saying that it's over but I'll believe it when I see it. No champagne yet.

9:35 207 to 135. Enough already! Call it! We know that it's impossible for McCain to win!

9:37 Holy holograms! First Jessica Yellin, now the Congress? Yikes.

9:45 I wanted to play with the holographs on CNN.com, but it's only a scaled-back Magic Map. Bother.

9:54 Polls closing on the West Coast shortly. Hopefully, we'll get an answer SOON.

10:07 Crying and drinking sparkling wine.

I think that's it for me.

Big Day

Today is one of the most important days in a very long time. I hope that the American people will have the courage and wisdom to do what is right... or, at least, what they believe to be right. It's more essential that they get out to the polls.

The next few hours will be Very Interesting.

Late Night Worries

Are the polls really true, or are we going to get an ugly surprise on Tuesday night?

Will working late at both jobs mess up my body clock more than it already is?

Will I be able to get those maples planted once and for all?

Will we ever get the garage cleaned out?

Do novenas really work?

Do I have to go to New York in a few weeks? Really?

Am I spending too much time on Facebook?

I Don't Get It

Living in an area that is so insane about football, whether it's high school, college, or pro, is wearing on me. I watch the Bears occasionally, and the Titans if there is nothing else on, but the mania escapes me.

What really irks me, though, is the rampant use of "we." As in, "We really blew it last night," or "We have a great defensive line this year." I don't know a single person that actually played football after high school, especially the women.

It's worse at the store. All of the guys play fantasy football, and they are all glued to the scores on Saturday as well.

Two more months and the college season will be over. Thank God.

Homesick

I want to go to Chicago.

I want to go to the Obama rally in Grant Park with T on Tuesday night.

I want to wake up to the smell of coffee at my Mom's.

I want to smell the crisp autumn air, complete with smoke from a fireplace.

I want to get on an airplane.

I want an Italian Beef sandwich.

I want.