Thoughts and Prayers

I wish that I knew how to pray.

No, that's not entirely true. I know how to pray... say the words or think the thoughts. Talk to God. Ask for help, forgiveness, patience, love, protection. Just do it and do it often.

The catch is that I'm not a person of faith. I don't think of praying automatically. And, when I do, I'm not confident that God listens. I've always taken somewhat of a Deist approach to faith, in that I believe that God loves us but doesn't necessarily intervene. He gave us brains and free wills and we have to use them to the best of our abilities. It bothers me enormously when people blame (or credit) God for everything that happens in their lives. Isn't that a bit arrogant? Instead, I ask for guidance and for what is best. When, of course, I remember to ask.

H is a man of tremendous faith. And, I work with quite a few people that are also people of great faith. I envy them that comfort. But, having that strong of a resolve isn't natural for me. Is it disingenuous for me to work to become a person of greater faith now that I really, really need the help and guidance? Or, is it something to aspire to?

Perhaps I should just say the words, think the thoughts, and listen.