I just got to talk to my niece's three tadpoles. They're very well spoken for amphibians. Their names are Speckles, Lily, and Badinkadink.

Not a Doctor

H went to the doctor yesterday because his foot just isn't feeling better. He hurt it over a week ago, and the bruise is starting to fade, but it's still painful. We had talked over and over about going to the doctor when it first happened, but he didn't want to go. And, when he said that he was going to go in for an xray yesterday, I told him that I thought that it was unnecessary.

Turns out that I was very, very wrong.

The doctor sent him for xrays, and told him that she thought that it was just severely bruised and that it would take a few weeks to feel better. She called him back this morning to say that they did find a fracture and some bone necrosis that resulted from it. She's going to send him to an orthopedist for an MRI. She also hopes that he won't need surgery. Holy shit.

At the very least, he'll need an air cast for 6-8 weeks. I can't imagine how long he would need rehab if he had surgery. At least it's his left foot, so he can still drive, but it's just awful.

Hot Cookin' Mamas

Saturday was our rescheduled date for our Fix it & Forget it cooking. We totally kicked ass on this one. We made:

• Maple Glazed Turkey Breast
• Chicken Divan with cheese and broccoli
• Chicken Cherries Jubilee
• Marinated Pork Tenderloin
  

I had made batches of Tortilla Soup and Pasta Sauce ahead of time, and shared those as well.

M did the numbers when it was all over and it cost us $38 per family. For 12 meals! $38!!! I had a hard time wrapping my brain around that, but there you go. And, K bought an extra ginormous bag of chicken breasts that will take care of two separate recipes for all of us next month. I can't wait to see what it ends up costing.

Here's a recap of what we had this month:

• Pecan Crusted Orange Curry Chicken. Wow. This absolutely blew us away. It needs a little more curry, but that can be arranged. I didn't tell H about the pecans, as he would have refused to eat it, but he LOVED it. Heh.
• Herbed Chicken. Mediocre. Sauvignon Blanc and herbs reduced for the marinade.
  
• Meat Loaf. Beef, turkey, pork in bacon lined mini pans. Phenomenal, especially when you take the loaves out of the pans before you bake them.
  
• Pork Chops and Apples. Meh. Good flavor but the apples needed to be juicier. I have one serving left and will dose it well with apple brandy.
• Pasta Sauce. The old standby.
• Chicken & Dumplings. D's recipe. Killer.
  

Five Years

I am the luckiest girl in the world.

H and I have been married for five years now. We had a wonderful dinner out on Friday night, and talked about how lucky we are and how different our life is from what we had expected.

We figured that we would own a house, but never expected to find such a great one and get into it so quickly. We also thought that we would be in Tennessee, and not have children, and that was right as well. That's about it.

We have had health glitches, gator attacks, job losses. Neither one of us love what we are doing. Money is tight and we're pretty stressed about it.

But, we are so incredibly blessed. No one understands us as well as the other. We rarely argue... just discuss. There is no one that I would rather see before I go to sleep and when I wake up every morning. We have a wonderful life that so many people only aspire to.

I want another five times twenty five years with him.

Way too much technology floating around here. Yay for smart husbands!

The gmail ads next to an email from a friend wishing us a happy anniversary were for cubic zirconia jewelry and wrinkle cream. Love it.

Wow. Five years already? Marrying him was the smartest thing that I have ever done. I hope that he feels the same way.

Let's see how this is working. Thanks, Desiree.

Off the Wagon

I've started reading Dooce again.

Not sure why, but I like it.

Overcast

Adama: What do you hear?
Starbuck: Nothing but the rain.

Rain is good. It makes grass green and flowers grow. But, the rain in my head isn't good.

I forced myself to get out of bed this morning, which is a good start. I should be working on cleaning the house, as the mess is starting to bug me, but I can't seem to get it together. I always do this to myself. I plan an enormously productive day the night before and then get nothing done. Then, I freak out because I'm "behind" when I didn't really need to accomplish the enormously aggressive list of stuff in the first place.

It would make sense for me to clean when I think about it, usually late at night. But, I don't want to be up doing stuff like that and have a harder time than usual getting up the next morning. Mornings are a nightmare as it is. And, H is starting to get so much better about going to sleep at a reasonable hour that I don't want to make noise and keep him up. I'm very thankful that I only close two nights in April so that I can get things done after I get home from work.

I also need to get in the habit of doing little bits of cleaning every day. That way, I won't feel like I'm burning an entire day off and I won't freak out because I have a list of things to do that I will never finish.

I just can't seem to get anything done lately. I feel like I'm going through the motions and am only getting the bare minimums done in order to keep the house running (like emptying the dishwasher and ironing a few shirts). I'm not sure why this is happening, as I'm not particularly upset or stressed, but there it is. I am having a hard time functioning. Again.

I'm going to go back to bed for a while. Hopefully, the rain outside will be stronger than the rain inside.

Details, Details

Things that I would do if I had a spare $10,000 to use on home improvements:

• New dishwasher. Ours gets on my last nerve.
  
• Get the washer and dryer fixed.
• Have a fence put up.
• Install a sprinkler system.
• Have shelves built in the garage.
• Hire an electrician to put in some more lights and sockets and fix our ceiling fan light.
  

It goes without saying that I would have N back to clean the house in a heartbeat.

One can dream, no?

All Quiet (Except on the Foot Front)

So far, all is well with the new cat.

H went and picked up Cookie yesterday. He took her to the vet and brought her home, all before I got home from work. She seems to be settling in well, aside from crying loudly at 4:30 in the morning and hiding under the bed a lot.

We have her sequestered in one of our spare bedrooms. Hopefully, the other two will be good when we finally let Cookie out to wander. They are both downstairs with me right now and seem perfectly normal. Last night, when Cookie was freaking out, I went in to check on her and she escaped. She ran downstairs. Katie didn't seem to care, but Annie did hiss for a little while. That's par for the course.

Cookie seems to be a very nice girl, and I hope that it works out. I am very afraid, though, that it will be very stressful for our girls. Ultimately, that is where we might have to draw the line. We'll let her out of the room for a little while later and see what happens.

The worst part of the whole weekend so far is that H twisted his foot badly yesterday while he was picking Cookie up. It's very black and blue, and it hurts him terribly to walk on it, but we don't think that anything is broken. He's resting now with Tylenol and ice. That does add to the stress of the situation, but he'll be fine.

Special Five for Friday BSG edition

Things that I love about the BSG finale:

1. Sometimes people do get what they deserve. See: Cavil, Racetrack, Boomer, Tory.
2. Doc Cottle.
   
3. Helo's alive! He's alive! My first girly scream of the evening was when I thought he got plugged.
   
4. Hoshi, Hoshi, Hoshi. Seeing him with Tigh, Cottle, Adama, Baltar at the end made me grin.
5. It's not always happy. I hate gratuitously happy things. Life isn't happy.
   

Things that I hate about the BSG finale:

1. The Sun? Really? Poor, poor Sam.
   
2. Not nearly enough Leoben. I wanted to see him disappear with Starbuck.
3. 150,000 years? Come on. How come no one has found bits of Raptor? Silly.
4. Chief ending up alone. He has always been my favorite.
5. Tory should have been killed more than once.
   

I can't believe that it's over.

Five for Friday

Short and sweet.

Things that make me happy:

1. Thick green grass.
2. New glasses.
   
3. Additions to the family.
4. Being told that the new sunglasses would take 10 days to get in, but it was less than one.
   
5. Tulips.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Smelling like old cigar smoke.
   
2. The end of BSG.
3. Headaches from new glasses.
4. Worrying how the girls will react to the new addition.
5. Having to work and not be able to watch the BSG marathon today.
   

Slipping

I'm afraid that the gator is back. I'm starting to see little ripples in the water. Not sure if it's a strong breeze or if there is something lurking under the surface.

I've been so tired and not sleeping well at all. I don't think the problem is physical. I've been eating much better, getting more exercise, not drinking as much or as often, and not taking a lot of sleeping meds. In other words, I've been doing everything right. I can't seem to sleep, though. I lie awake for hours, tossing and turning, and eventually crash between 3 and 4. My mind just races. When it's not racing, I'm exhausted but can't sleep anyway.

H has been weaning himself off of some meds, and is in need of more Remicade, so he hasn't been sleeping either. That doesn't help.

So, what's going on? I'm always tired. I've been very short lately. I spend all of my spare time sleeping (or laying around in my pajamas). Am I paranoid or just very busy and worn out?

The sad thing is that all is well. H is great, we're not completely stressed out, I have lots of social engagements, and work is good. The family is healthy. K is brilliant. Both cats are loving and snuggly. Where's the problem?

I think that it's between my ears.

So Scary

How can a healthy 45-year-old woman fall on a ski slope, appear to be fine, and then be dead less than 48 hours later? Poor Natasha Richardson and poor Liam Neeson. How terrible.

Subversive Thought of the Day

I have never really wanted to go to Disney World. I have been to Disney Land, and was underwhelmed.

Yummy Smells

Today, I cook. I cook a whole lot. Fortunately, none of it is very time consuming or difficult. But, it's a whole heck of a lot of food.

We're meeting for the Once a Month Cooking next Saturday at K's, and I am bringing Pasta Sauce and Tortilla Soup. The Pasta Sauce is the same stuff that I always make, and the Tortilla Soup recipe is J's. Last week, J brought over two rotisserie chickens that I pulled apart and stuck in quart bags in the freezer. One portion of the chicken is in the soup right now. The soup is in the crock pot and will bubble bubble bubble along for the rest of the day until I put it in the serving bags.

The sauce is a little more laborious, but still fabulous. The onions, garlic, and meat are browning now (sausage, hamburger, pork, veal) and I'll add tomatoes, herbs, and wine to it shortly. It will need all day to reduce.

I've been craving Chicken Marsala lately, and will make some for dinner tonight. I'm also going to make extra so that I can freeze it.

It is a lot of work, but not in that it takes a long time to prepare. It just takes a long time to cook. Preparing it to cook is actually pretty quick. And, you do have to have all of the ingredients. That is always my catch.

I'm a Little Bit Screamy...

We had Supper Club at K & J's last night and played Rock Star. I've heard all about it, of course, but had no idea how fabulous it would be. Oddly enough, I still have a pretty good sense of pitch and sang very well. No, that's not true. I didn't sing well at all, but I sang in tune and very enthusiastically. The guys and D all had a wonderful time playing their instruments as well. I gave the Bass and Drums a shot, and it was Hard.

H has Guitar Hero, which is similar (as I'm told). I think that I'm going to have to get a microphone, unless they're horrendously expensive. My birthday is coming, after all. Heh.

Subversive Thought of the Day

Is it really necessary for me to blog, Facebook, and Twitter? Does anyone give a damn?

I'm not even sure that I do, but at least it's a chance to write. I need to write more.

(fill in quote about monkeys, typewriters, and Shakespeare here)

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. Rock Star. We had such a great time!
2. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.
3. Snuggly cats first thing in the morning.
4. Sweetwater Georgia Brown. Oh, dear.
   
5. Perfectly crispy grilled cheese sandwiches.
6. Pink Floyd.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Mist. Just rain already!
2. Having to get up when H and K are still snuggly.
3. Breaking the seal.
4. Only one more episode of Battlestar Galactica.
5. Not knowing whether or not to adopt another cat.
   

So Much for the New Austerity

I just spent $140 at Kroger. The really sad thing is that I didn't buy anything that I didn't need. So much for my budget of $70. Not sure what we were thinking.

I HATE grocery shopping. The really pathetic thing is that I hardly bought any meat at all.

Bloody hell.

New Austerity Redux

Back when all of the chaos ensued, we tweaked our budget to allow us to continue to live without my rushing out to get a potentially horrendous job. We made some major changes, and weren't sure how they would work out. It would probably be helpful for both of us if I looked back to see how well we are surviving.

1. Eliminating the housekeeper. This really killed me, because I love N. She's a wonderful woman that works very hard, and I know that quite a few of her clients were paring back as well. But, it saves us so much money. We're getting better about cleaning, but have plenty of room to improve. Back in January, I put together a schedule of small chores that could be done every day by both of us to keep the housework from becoming overwhelming. We never instituted it, and it would be helpful to revisit that.
   
2. Paring back our allowances. We both have our own personal checking accounts, in addition to our joint household account. So that we didn't have to account for every penny to each other or ask for money, we give ourselves an "allowance" every month. We have both trimmed ours back. I take food with me to work every day, and haven't really had a problem with the amount at all. Can't speak for H, but he hasn't said anything about it.
   
3. Not eating out. We used to go out at least twice a week. Now, if we go once a week it's a real event. It takes more forethought to have meals at the ready, but it is absolutely worth it. And, we're saving money on groceries because we're shopping smarter. The once a month cooking thing is making a huge difference as well. It will be interesting to see how the gardening works this summer.
   
4. Ironing H's shirts. Okay, this is where it fell apart. Theoretically, we could have saved at least $50 a month if I did the ironing. In actuality, I hate ironing more than just about anything else. I have had the ironing board set up in our bedroom for weeks now, and the same stack of shirts is still on it, waiting for me. I just can't make myself do it. So, we're going to take some of his shirts, like his good dress shirts, in and the rest will be hung up as soon as they come out of the dryer. Nice compromise. I think that I can keep the $ spent on it to under $30.
5. Alcohol consumption. I don't drink a whole lot, and I don't drink all of the time. But, I do love a glass of wine with dinner. It is much less expensive, though, if I don't (not to mention, many fewer calories). I don't buy any more than two bottles at a time, if that. Of course, working in a wine shop is much like being a kid in a candy store. I want everything. But, I take it on a day-by-day basis.
   
6. Spa time. I found a new hair salon and am paying half of the price for haircuts. I'm also coloring my own hair. Good thing that I was unhappy with the previous salon anyway.
7. Discontinuing services. We dumped TiVo, our home phone number, and the newspaper. We're still looking to trim $ wherever we can, but this was a big chunk right off of the bat.

It's certainly not perfect, and we still have too much debt and not the healthiest of money habits, but we're making great progress. Now, we just need to sell off all of the extraneous crap that we have sitting around in the house. THAT would make a huge difference both financially and emotionally.

Taking Responsibility

Sometimes, my job makes me sad.

The great majority of the customers that come into our store in the mornings are hard-core alcoholics. Some come in as soon as we open to get their fix. Most have shaky hands. Most buy cheap vodka. All are friendly.

That is ultimately what breaks my heart: they are friendly. I would guess that we probably have as much of a relationship as they do with some members of their families. We talk about the weather, sports, news, travel. We never ask their names. I feel very guilty sometimes that I never ask their names, but that might make it harder for me to deal with. I don't want to personalize them more than "Danfield's guy" or "gin guy" or "horse woman." There is "pretty blueberry girl" that is only 23 and drinks Smirnoff minis in her car on the way home from work. The one man that we have named is Mr. Boston. He's a transplant from the Northeast, and can change the conversation to something centered around Boston in less than 10 seconds.

There is no state law that dictates how often customers can come in, but we cut people off at two visits per day. So, our regulars know that they need to come in the morning and in the afternoon and that's it. They also buy small bottles. That way, their intake is limited to what they have in front of them.

I wonder if my father went to the same store every day, or if he went to different ones. He drank a fifth of vodka every day or so for many, many years. Did they know him by name, or was he "Gordon's guy?"

Ultimately, it's not our responsibility to worry about them, or even limit their intake. If we weren't there, they would get it from someone else. They can also choose not to drink. But, our business would suffer greatly if we didn't have so many regulars. So, we continue to buy the pints and minis and smile and try not to be heartbroken when we see the same people day in and day out. But, I still wish that people came in only because they wanted to enjoy a drink, not because they needed one.

Thoughts on the End

Aw, man. Two episodes, and three hours, of Battlestar Galactica left. As much as I hate it, there are a few things that I would like to see...

• Sam wake up out of the goo and slap Kara silly.
• Kara figure it all out and become the Cylon Goddess that she is.
  
• Baltar shoot Roslin in the cancer once again so she can lose the stupid scarf.
  
• Boomer figure out that she's a bitter asshole and kidnap Hera for the millionth time.
  
• Galactica come to her senses and airlock Baltar and all of his lunatics.
  
• She can airlock Ellen as well. After all, this is really Ellen's fault.
  
• Adama go back to his main craft... model shipbuilding, not painting.
  
• Helo and Athena make more little Helos and Athenas.
  

Of everything, I am saddest about Chief. He's long been my favorite character, other than Starbuck, and it seems like he's been set up for one disaster after another and has gotten screwed at every turn. I just want him to be happy.

Boy, I have spent entirely too much time thinking about this to be so torn up.

Five for Friday

Wow. Doing this on time for a change!

Things that make me happy:

1. Strong, black coffee.
   
2. Freshly cleaned litter boxes.
3. Seeing Mom, E, R, and K over the weekend.
4. Losing weight little by little.
   
5. Firefly. I think. We'll see.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Headaches from the lack of caffeine.
2. Prickly legs.
   
3. Worrying about money.
4. Not getting 40 hours a week at the store (see #3).
5. Cats eating plants and then throwing up. And then, they do it all over again.
   

Oh, Nuts

I'm going to miss Kathie Lee Gifford, Joe Scarbrough, and Nicholas Sparks at BEA. I might just stay in bed for the rest of the day and cry.

(no wonder the publishing industry has gone down the tubes)

Office

I can't stand to go in there.

One of the few criteria that I had for selecting a house was that I wanted an office on the first floor. I thought that I was going to be working at home for the indefinite future, and I wanted the office downstairs so that I had easy access to the kitchen and to outside. We were lucky enough to find a model that had a "sunroom" on the first floor that we turned into an office for me. It is lined with bookshelves and has a lovely comfortable desk and chair.

I haven't worked in there since October, and I haven't spent more than 10 minutes in there at a time at all. But, it has become an easy dumping ground for books, papers, bills, and anything that needs organizations. It is a disaster area, and it makes my blood pressure shoot up just looking in there. I just went in to use the printer and I was uneasy sitting at the desk.

It desperately needs to be cleaned out, but I can't stand it. It's embarrassing to look at, but it makes me so sad to be in there. I could probably throw out half of the stuff that is in there. It's such a shame, because it is a beautiful room, but I'm not ready for that yet.

I've spent a fair amount of time trying to understand why it upsets me so much to go in there. I think that perhaps it's the only physical manifestation that I have of how much my life has changed. When you leave a job in an office, you walk away and never go back. I can't do that in this case... in fact, I have to look at it every day.

I did think that we should convert the room into something else. But, that would mean spending some kind of money on furniture and we certainly can't do that right now. What else would we do with it? Maybe the best idea would be to get a curtain for the door (it has glass panels) so that I can't see in there easily.

Or, does that mean that I'm just hiding from the problem?

It's All Good

I got up before 9 today.

I showered before Noon.

I went to Krogzilla, the much hated destination, and had lunch with my husband before 2.

Lunch and snacks for the week were prepared before 4.

I even did some house cleaning!

I'm ready for bed now. But, I feel like a real person for a change.

Five for Friday

Late again. As usual.

Things that make me happy:

1. Snow in Tennessee. Heh. Watch everyone freak out!
2. Drinks after work with wonderful friends.
3. Did I mention snow? For two weekends in a row?
4. Snuggly kittens keeping watch when I'm not well.
   
5. Puffs with Vicks. Mmmmmmm.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Coughing up globs of icky stuff.
   
2. The enormous pile of ironing that is lurking in the corner of my bedroom.
3. Religious intolerance.
4. Endless laundry.
5. Chapped lips.
   

I'm not very interesting this week. Sorry.