Thursday, March 19, 2009

Slipping

I'm afraid that the gator is back. I'm starting to see little ripples in the water. Not sure if it's a strong breeze or if there is something lurking under the surface.

I've been so tired and not sleeping well at all. I don't think the problem is physical. I've been eating much better, getting more exercise, not drinking as much or as often, and not taking a lot of sleeping meds. In other words, I've been doing everything right. I can't seem to sleep, though. I lie awake for hours, tossing and turning, and eventually crash between 3 and 4. My mind just races. When it's not racing, I'm exhausted but can't sleep anyway.

H has been weaning himself off of some meds, and is in need of more Remicade, so he hasn't been sleeping either. That doesn't help.

So, what's going on? I'm always tired. I've been very short lately. I spend all of my spare time sleeping (or laying around in my pajamas). Am I paranoid or just very busy and worn out?

The sad thing is that all is well. H is great, we're not completely stressed out, I have lots of social engagements, and work is good. The family is healthy. K is brilliant. Both cats are loving and snuggly. Where's the problem?

I think that it's between my ears.

No comments: