Overcast

Adama: What do you hear?
Starbuck: Nothing but the rain.

Rain is good. It makes grass green and flowers grow. But, the rain in my head isn't good.

I forced myself to get out of bed this morning, which is a good start. I should be working on cleaning the house, as the mess is starting to bug me, but I can't seem to get it together. I always do this to myself. I plan an enormously productive day the night before and then get nothing done. Then, I freak out because I'm "behind" when I didn't really need to accomplish the enormously aggressive list of stuff in the first place.

It would make sense for me to clean when I think about it, usually late at night. But, I don't want to be up doing stuff like that and have a harder time than usual getting up the next morning. Mornings are a nightmare as it is. And, H is starting to get so much better about going to sleep at a reasonable hour that I don't want to make noise and keep him up. I'm very thankful that I only close two nights in April so that I can get things done after I get home from work.

I also need to get in the habit of doing little bits of cleaning every day. That way, I won't feel like I'm burning an entire day off and I won't freak out because I have a list of things to do that I will never finish.

I just can't seem to get anything done lately. I feel like I'm going through the motions and am only getting the bare minimums done in order to keep the house running (like emptying the dishwasher and ironing a few shirts). I'm not sure why this is happening, as I'm not particularly upset or stressed, but there it is. I am having a hard time functioning. Again.

I'm going to go back to bed for a while. Hopefully, the rain outside will be stronger than the rain inside.