A Sorority? Seriously?

Yes, I was in a sorority in college. I enjoyed it then, to a certain extent, and I do have some fond memories of it.

It always surprises people when they hear that I had pledged a sorority. I get the "I thought that you were smarter than that" or "Oh, reeeeeeaaaaaaly?" on a pretty regular basis. I went through Rush on a whim, got the bid that same night, and was off and running. Our house, or any of the houses at NIU for that matter, wasn't one of the stereotypical Animal House Southern Belle nightmares that you automatically think of. I was drawn in by the fact that I met so many women - fat, thin, smart, attractive, plain - that I felt that I could blend in seamlessly. And, for the most part, I did just that.

Living in the house was a blast. There was always something interesting happening, and there was always someone awake. I didn't bond with either of my roommates, but I didn't hate them either. We had our own chef, our own keys, our own parking lot, and lots of autonomy. Too much, in fact, for a bunch of underage girls. But, we survived with a minimum of controversy.

When I graduated, I had a bitter taste in my mouth. I had spent my last semester as the Member at Large, which meant that I needed to mediate the ugliest facets of sorority life. And, as I got more involved, I realized that many of the women that I lived with and called "sisters" were in fact not nice people that had no compunctions about doing horrible things to each other. Like many people that I know, I walked away and didn't look back.

Now, over 15 years out, I have fonder memories. Or, perhaps, the nastier stuff has faded away. I've been getting in touch with certain people via Facebook, and it's interesting to see that a great many women are thrilled to hear from me and loved me very much when we saw each other on a daily basis. I never saw myself as "popular," but one that blended in and did my job and didn't cause any waves. To be embraced now with open arms is almost more precious than it was then.

I have always said that I would rather work with and for men, and have friends that are men, and be surrounded by men, largely as a result of college. But, there is a lot to be said for the gift of friendship that only a woman can give. Women are catty, yes, but we are also nurturing and thoughtful and compassionate. Women are good. I'm so thankful that I've finally figured that out and can learn to appreciate the women that I share a history and bond with.

Mmmmmmm

Wolftrap Syrah is the bomb. I normally don't even like Syrah, and I could drink this all day. It's juicy and moderately huge and not watery and not overly spicy.

Must get another glass. Yay, Friday nights!

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. My co-workers (at both jobs).
2. Our upcoming trip to Colorado next week.
3. Facials at the local Aveda spa.
4. My new short hair cut, although it feels too short.
5. Cool evenings with open windows.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. My lack of faith in God, myself, other people (except for H).
2. Panic over gas supplies.
3. Needing to shave my legs.
4. Repeated phone calls and email to accounts that simply aren't buying books right now.
5. The cat sitter that won't return my calls.
   

'Tis a Gift

Tonight at Job #2, we were talking about how all of us are gifted in specific ways. D, who is the 6th grade history teacher, is an extremely gifted teacher. Granted, I've never seen him in the classroom, but he can help anyone that walks in the door and explain to them what they need to know on the level that they will understand. It's amazing to watch him. He is also extremely patient, which is essential in a teacher. And, he is always searching for additional information. Learning is as fundamental to him as breathing.

My beloved Aunt P has a gift for making every person that she encounters feel loved. Nowhere is that more important than in the ER where she works as a nurse. If I had any kind of trauma, she is exactly the person that I would want helping me.

My mother has a gift for making anything and everything grow. She isn't happy unless she has dirt under her nails, and no plant too large or small is unworthy of her love and attention.

I don't know what my gift is. I can make all kinds of snarky comments about it, but I'm sure that there is a legitimate one out there somewhere.

I Just Can't Believe It!

Clay Aiken is gay.

I might have to go back to bed for the rest of the day and pray for his immortal soul.

(heh)

Oh, no!

Kevin McKidd is going to be on Grey's Anatomy. Does that mean that I have to watch it? I don't have room in my life for another television show, nor do I want one. And, I really don't want to watch Grey's Anatomy.

But, it *is* Kevin McKidd... sigh. I'll TiVo it, at least.

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. Donna Tartt.
2. The weather is starting to get cooler! Yay!
3. Wine tasting classes.
4. My husband.
   
5. Having cats watch over me when I'm sick.
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. This cold that Will. Not. Go. Away.
2. Nasty and nastier political campaigns.
3. Terror in the stock market.
4. The new Facebook design.
5. Finding cat vomit in unfortunate places, like on the couch.
   

On the Mat

I still feel like ten miles of bad road, and didn't want to go to Yoga this morning. I am having trouble breathing, as my cold has migrated downward from my sinuses into my lungs. As breathing is such a huge part of Yoga, I didn't think that it would work very well. But, my body is starting to crave the movement, and my mind definitely craves the relaxation, so I thought that I should force myself to go.

I was very disappointed at first, because I couldn't seem to do anything. My balance was much worse than usual and the breath thing seemed overwhelming. But, after about 20 minutes, I just got calm. Being there was more important than anything else. So, there I was.

I didn't want to go but I went. I didn't think that I could do anything but I tried. And, it was a success.

Ugggggghhhhhh

I caught the cold. H had it over the weekend, and people at Job #2 have had it on and off for the last week or so. I actually called in sick to Job #2 for the first time tonight. My nose won't stop running, all of my joints ache, my throat is burning, and I have a slight temperature. I worked at Job #1 until about 1 today, and have slept until now.

H feels terrible that I got it from him, but that's what happens when you are married.

Momentous Day

Friday, September 13th, 2002 was a busy day. Not only was I swamped with work in Cubeville from Hell, but I received a series of potentially alarming phone calls.

On Thursday night, I called my father (in hospice in Arizona) to tell him that my sister had gone into labor. We talked for a little while, and then he told me that he loved me and that he would talk to me later. I never spoke to him again.

I got a call from the hospice social worker that he was going downhill rapidly the next morning. It turned out that he told a friend of his that morning that he was "checking out" that day. I kept trying to call him, but he never answered the phone.

My mother and my brother-in-law called almost every hour to give me updates on E. K had swallowed some meconium, and E was having an extremely rough time with labor.

B, a co-worker of mine, brought in baby kitten A into the office for me. I had completely forgotten that we told him that we would take her on the 13th. She was crawling with fleas, and needed shots, so I took her right to the vet after work.

As soon as I got home, there were messages for me to call the hospice (because my father had died) and to call my brother-in-law (because my niece had been born and all were well). We are still convinced that Dad waited for K to be born so that E could carry her to term without that much extra stress. R said that when he held K for the first time, he swore that he saw my father's eyes looking back at him. It's quite possible, since he died within an hour of her birth.

I was in Birmingham, far away from all of them. But, my heart was still broken and elated at the same time.

Six years later and I'm still not sure how to handle the day.

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. The possibility that we might go to Hawaii next year.
2. Ham sandwiches with a little bit of Grey Poupon.
3. Target.
   
4. Cubs baseball - and the Cubs are actually winning!
5. The pigeon asana.

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Hidden jalapenos in my Southwestern salad.
2. Being awakened repeatedly by a purring, cuddly cat. I feel the love, but...
3. The ooky, upset tummy feeling when I can't digest a fabulous filet.
   
4. Slow nights at job #2 that drag on forever.
   
5. Yoga isn't offered at GroupFit every day.
   

Young Ones

A friend of mine from Job #2 is a 6th grade History teacher. He said that he was talking about September 11th with his kids in class yesterday, and that many of them didn't remember the actual day. They were 4 or 5 at the time.

I can't imagine living in a world where there is only war and terror. I am so grateful that I remember other times, and I look forward to the day when that peace returns. K, my beautiful niece, turns 6 tomorrow. I never really thought of her having been born in a time of such tremendous upheaval, but there it is. So sad.

Seven Years

Seven years ago today, I was in my nasty cubicle at Chain #3 getting ready for our weekly merchandising meeting (in other words, flogging). As usual, I pulled up the Chicago Tribune to see what was going on in the civilized world. The headline at that time was that a plane hit the WTC but it was thought to be a small plane and an accident. Over the course of the next half hour, the second plane hit, and then the Pentagon was hit shortly after that.

H was working in DC at the time. He was on his way in to the firm during the Pentagon attack, and rose out of the Metro to see the billowing clouds of smoke across the river. His office building was directly in between the White House and the Capitol on Pennsylvania Avenue, so I was in a state of sheer terror until he called me later in the morning. His brother, who lived 3 blocks away from the WTC and worked on Wall Street at the time, was also fine (but couldn't get into his apartment without the National Guard for 6 months).

I have never been so frightened in my entire life. I have also never been so horrified as I was in the weeks immediately following the attacks. How do people in war zones function? Or, people that have had children abducted or loved ones murdered? I pray that I will never find out.

Disasters

Boy, do we have it good. So good, in fact, that I feel even guiltier about having to carry a sharp stick all of the time. I could have lost my beloved husband to cancer like Laurie. Or, my baby could have been born at 26 weeks like Kari. Or, my sister could have been in a plane crash that burned 80% of her body like C Jane.

I need to count my blessings and get my head out of my ass.

Drank the Koolaid

The thought that went through my mind tonight as I was in Yoga for the SECOND time today:

"I really need to exercise more to build up the strength in my arms."

You see, I was doing Downward Facing Dog and I don't have a lot of upper body strength. I have trouble holding myself up for prolonged periods of time. So, the natural solution is to exercise more so that I can do it without trouble, no?

Sheesh. I am exhausted but actually feel good. I think that I'll go meditate for a little while and then go to bed. Back, evil gators!

Another Weekend Down the Tubes

This gator is pretty persistent. I worked from 10-4 at job #2 yesterday, and didn't take a nap as soon as I got home. I still didn't sleep last night. Today, of course, I crashed all day. Hopefully, I won't have trouble sleeping tonight. I didn't sleep a bit on Thursday night, either. I have had hardly anything to drink, but I did meditate both nights right before bed. I wonder if that revved up my mind?

Great. I finally get off my butt in an honest attempt to do something to improve my life and it backfires. That figures.

Five for Friday

Things that make me happy:

1. Yoga
2. Gnarly Head Old Vine Zinfandel
3. Rain, rain, rain
4. Candles
5. Emerald Smoked Almonds
   

Things that make me less than happy:

1. Downward Facing Dog (although, I am getting better)
2. Stinky garbage cans
3. The RNC
4. Paying the bills
5. Obnoxiously expensive airfare for a destination that I am not fond of in the first place
6. Chipped toenail polish that I don't notice until I'm in Yoga class. So much for letting thoughts go.
   

Yeah, I know that I threw in a 6th thing to be less than happy about. Sue me. I need to be more happy.

Spandex

I bought some new yoga clothes over the weekend. They consist of shorter pants and sleeveless tanks, all made out of the spandex sweat-wicking stuff. I've never bought athletic clothes like this before. Hell, I've never bought athletic clothes.

After much fear and trepidation, I put some on this morning in preparation for the yoga class that I MUST GO TO IN HALF AN HOUR. Oddly, they didn't look too terrible. They actually look better than the oversized t-shirt that I usually wear. I don't get it.

Slipping

I feel like I'm starting to fall apart a little. It's so easy to nap and lay around and not do much. My entire body aches horribly, and I can't help but think that it's because I haven't gone to exercise. Yes, it's been very busy with work, but I can force myself to go. I'm just not good at forcing myself to do anything. I have also felt very blue. I haven't been as good as I should be with my medication, but it's only been for the last week.

E's visit was good, but I'm glad that it's over. It was pretty stressful, even though I went out of my way to be as laid back as I could be.