A Sorority? Seriously?

Yes, I was in a sorority in college. I enjoyed it then, to a certain extent, and I do have some fond memories of it.

It always surprises people when they hear that I had pledged a sorority. I get the "I thought that you were smarter than that" or "Oh, reeeeeeaaaaaaly?" on a pretty regular basis. I went through Rush on a whim, got the bid that same night, and was off and running. Our house, or any of the houses at NIU for that matter, wasn't one of the stereotypical Animal House Southern Belle nightmares that you automatically think of. I was drawn in by the fact that I met so many women - fat, thin, smart, attractive, plain - that I felt that I could blend in seamlessly. And, for the most part, I did just that.

Living in the house was a blast. There was always something interesting happening, and there was always someone awake. I didn't bond with either of my roommates, but I didn't hate them either. We had our own chef, our own keys, our own parking lot, and lots of autonomy. Too much, in fact, for a bunch of underage girls. But, we survived with a minimum of controversy.

When I graduated, I had a bitter taste in my mouth. I had spent my last semester as the Member at Large, which meant that I needed to mediate the ugliest facets of sorority life. And, as I got more involved, I realized that many of the women that I lived with and called "sisters" were in fact not nice people that had no compunctions about doing horrible things to each other. Like many people that I know, I walked away and didn't look back.

Now, over 15 years out, I have fonder memories. Or, perhaps, the nastier stuff has faded away. I've been getting in touch with certain people via Facebook, and it's interesting to see that a great many women are thrilled to hear from me and loved me very much when we saw each other on a daily basis. I never saw myself as "popular," but one that blended in and did my job and didn't cause any waves. To be embraced now with open arms is almost more precious than it was then.

I have always said that I would rather work with and for men, and have friends that are men, and be surrounded by men, largely as a result of college. But, there is a lot to be said for the gift of friendship that only a woman can give. Women are catty, yes, but we are also nurturing and thoughtful and compassionate. Women are good. I'm so thankful that I've finally figured that out and can learn to appreciate the women that I share a history and bond with.