Stages

It's funny how the oddest thoughts can go through your mind before you completely wake up in the morning. I went through all five stages of grief in about 10 minutes while I was in the shower earlier today.

Denial: I cannot possibly have any underwear that is too tight.

Anger: Even if I do have underwear that is too tight, I can't freaking believe that, of all of the clean underwear in my dresser, I came up with that one.

Bargaining: If, just for once, the underwear fits as it's supposed to, I will never ever ever eat another hamburger.

Depression: I am a big huge moose of a woman.

Acceptance: I have underwear that is too tight. It's only one pair out of many, but it exists.

The irony of it is, that after all of that agony, the underwear fit perfectly for perhaps the first time EVER. Thankfully, I don't eat too many hamburgers anyway.