On Fighting

We are in a bit of financial trouble. That is perhaps a huge understatement, but I don't want to go into great detail. For two very intelligent people, we have made some horrendous mistakes and have been negligent in a way that is horrifying. So, we're in a very dark and scary place.

However, we have been given some gifts from places that we never expected. We have gotten a tremendous amount of support (and not just financial) from family. We are taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University classes. We are working harder and thinking smarter about what we are doing. We will be fine in the long run.

It's going to be an incredibly tough slog. Harder than either one of us ever thought was possible. But, we WILL do this. We WILL NOT lose each other. We WILL NOT lose our house. We WILL be so much stronger and smarter as a result of this. And we WILL move on.

Laundry Quandary

For the record, my one resolution to write more this year isn't working out too well so far. Of course, I don't need to point that out.

Some families stockpile bottled water and canned food. Some stockpile diapers. Some stockpile junked cars in the yard. We stockpile SOCKS.

I only wish that I was kidding.

Our sock situation has gotten completely out of control due to a number of different factors. First, the evil washer and dryer still are not working as they should. I can't wash more than 1/3 to 1/4 of a load at a time, or the washer goes out of balance. Sometimes, it goes out of balance anyway just to keep me on my toes. So, I have been doing laundry on a "desperate need" basis for the last month or so.

Second, H has never learned how to use this washer and dryer. Yes, he is a very intelligent man with a law degree. Yes, using the washer only requires pushing a few buttons. But, I have spoiled him and have always done the laundry since we've been together. He has never really done the laundry anyway. During that year or so that he was in the apartment with J, I would make it a point to go up once a month and do all of the laundry for him. Invariably, it was horrifying and would result in at least 3 kleenex going through the wash.

Third, H's mom is OBSESSED with socks. I don't use the word obsessed lightly, either. I have more cute socks than I will ever be able to wear. I have socks that will never match anything in my closet. I have socks for every holiday. This past Christmas, she sent to me two pairs of Halloween socks that she bought in 2008 and forgot to send to me. When P was here for Thanksgiving, she took H shopping and bought him AT LEAST 30 pairs of socks. As I have been doing deep cleaning in the closets and around the house, I keep finding the damn things everywhere. Of course, the great majority of them are single pairs with unique patterns so when one is lost, the other has to be garbage.

Never mind the fact that as I've been doing a squillion loads of catch-up laundry, I haven't been taking the time to match all of the socks. I have a pile on the dresser of at least 100 socks. I am not kidding. And, I'm not done with all of the laundry yet.

What I don't understand is why certain clothing companies, particularly an upscale brand that I'll just call "BB, " insists on over-packaging their socks. I found a pile of BB sock packaging on the floor in the closet. More under the bed. Some squirreled away in various drawers in the closet. Some in shopping bags. The packaging mainly consists of belly bands and plastic hangers, but in some cases there are PINS and STITCHES and even TISSUE PAPER. Why, for the love of God, would one need to put tissue paper in a SOCK? At this moment, I have a garbage bag in our bedroom that contains mainly used kleenex, used dryer sheets, and SOCK PACKAGING.

Once the Superbowl is over, my next project will be to go through our dressers and purge all of the old socks and underwear. H won't like it, but he'll survive. Otherwise, I'm going to have to figure out how to cook socks for dinner.

Update

On May 5, I posted that there were some really tall things growing in my butterfly bushes. Turns out that they were not weeds at all, but was new growth. Super growth, to be exact. The damn things are taller than I am and are blooming like crazy. I'm making a mental note to slash them back in a big way in the fall. I don't want them to take over my house.

Model of Efficiency

Believe it or not, I got up and out of the house before 10 on my day off. Holy jeebus! Here's where I went:

1. Home Depot
2. PetSmart
3. Hair cut
4. Swanky's for fish tacos
   
5. Office Depot
6. Bed Bath & Beyond
7. Krogzilla

Even more incredible is the fact that I came in $15 under budget for the day and only bought two things that weren't on my list. And, I was home with the groceries put away before 2!

I'm worn out. I need a nap now.

Pale Green

I just planted the rest of my flowers and herbs. Here's the updated list:

1. Two flat-leaved Italian parsley (one will probably go to D)
2. Sweet Basil
   
3. Oregano
4. Jalapeno peppers
5. some kind of Tomato
   
6. Basil seedlings from K
7. Cilantro (which will definitely not go to D)
8. Rosemary
   
9. Five different containers of petunias in varying shades of dark purple
10. Catnip (inside for the beasts)
11. a sticky-uppy plant to take to the store.
    

Except for the seedlings from K, they are all little plants. I am neither brave nor patient enough to start things from scratch. It looks as though she started them in an egg carton. They're adorable and I will try my best not to kill them.

The tomato and jalapeno are completely uncharted territory. The long-term plan is that I will become a tomato goddess and that next year I will grow lots of Roma tomatoes for canning. It would be incredible to make my own pasta sauce with my own tomatoes. K and D and I are going to work on canning this fall. Should be interesting. I also want to learn how to dry herbs, as I will most likely have a hell of a lot of them.

I put everything into containers, as I distrust my abilities. Or, perhaps I should say, I recognize my lack of abilities. This way, if they start getting crunchy, I can bring them all inside and ignore them more directly.

I meant to take pictures, but the battery on the camera is dead right now. I'll post them after I charge the stupid thing up. I'll also take pics of the blooming stuff in the yard. The clematis that I planted at the mailbox last year and ignored has gotten huge and is blooming. It's gorgeous and I can take absolutely no credit for it.

Earthy

I didn't even realize that today was Earth Day. I've intentionally kept myself in somewhat of a media black out, so it snuck up on me. But, why should we celebrate the Earth only once a year?

It's so simple.

• Recycle. Recycle something. Recycle anything.
  
• Plant. Put a pot of flowers for your front porch.
  
• Reuse. Get a travel cup instead of having to throw out a Starbucks cup every day.
• Light. Use florescent bulbs when you can.
  
• Switch. Turn the bloody lights off!
  

Okay. I'm done lecturing now. I should be happy that there is such a big discussion about Earth Day, and hopefully this means that some people will start reforming their ways as a result. Every little bit helps.

There's a Hole in My...

Watering can. Crap. How does one get a hole in a plastic watering can?

I bought a relatively small amount of dark purple petunias and some herbs yesterday. It's well known that I'm not a gardener. Every year I plant things that don't make it through the summer. However, I do have a number of annuals in my yard (things that come back), such as tulips and peonies, that are doing beautifully. The clematis that I planted last year around my mailbox have just exploded and should bloom any day. So, this year, I am determined to keep things alive for a while.

After dinner, I realized that I was feeling a little better and that I should get the plants in while I had that short window. I planted seven herbs... okay, six and a tomato plant... in containers and a flat of petunias in the planter box and three hanging planters. I still have a huge bag of potting soil left over. I left them all at the top of the driveway because we are supposed to get rain over the next few days.

Once you plant something, you are supposed to water it. I got out the Miracle Gro, filled up the watering can, and got soaked. I thought that it was just because I was sloppy and tired, but no! There is a freaking hole in my watering can! Great.

To add insult to injury, I was sure that I bought cilantro. Instead, I bought two flat-leaved parsleys and no cilantro. Perhaps D had an inadvertent hand in it, because she hates cilantro. I should just give her one of the parsleys.

I'll need to learn how to upload images to this so that someone can hold me accountable for potential plant murder.

Overcast

Adama: What do you hear?
Starbuck: Nothing but the rain.

Rain is good. It makes grass green and flowers grow. But, the rain in my head isn't good.

I forced myself to get out of bed this morning, which is a good start. I should be working on cleaning the house, as the mess is starting to bug me, but I can't seem to get it together. I always do this to myself. I plan an enormously productive day the night before and then get nothing done. Then, I freak out because I'm "behind" when I didn't really need to accomplish the enormously aggressive list of stuff in the first place.

It would make sense for me to clean when I think about it, usually late at night. But, I don't want to be up doing stuff like that and have a harder time than usual getting up the next morning. Mornings are a nightmare as it is. And, H is starting to get so much better about going to sleep at a reasonable hour that I don't want to make noise and keep him up. I'm very thankful that I only close two nights in April so that I can get things done after I get home from work.

I also need to get in the habit of doing little bits of cleaning every day. That way, I won't feel like I'm burning an entire day off and I won't freak out because I have a list of things to do that I will never finish.

I just can't seem to get anything done lately. I feel like I'm going through the motions and am only getting the bare minimums done in order to keep the house running (like emptying the dishwasher and ironing a few shirts). I'm not sure why this is happening, as I'm not particularly upset or stressed, but there it is. I am having a hard time functioning. Again.

I'm going to go back to bed for a while. Hopefully, the rain outside will be stronger than the rain inside.

Details, Details

Things that I would do if I had a spare $10,000 to use on home improvements:

• New dishwasher. Ours gets on my last nerve.
  
• Get the washer and dryer fixed.
• Have a fence put up.
• Install a sprinkler system.
• Have shelves built in the garage.
• Hire an electrician to put in some more lights and sockets and fix our ceiling fan light.
  

It goes without saying that I would have N back to clean the house in a heartbeat.

One can dream, no?

So Much for the New Austerity

I just spent $140 at Kroger. The really sad thing is that I didn't buy anything that I didn't need. So much for my budget of $70. Not sure what we were thinking.

I HATE grocery shopping. The really pathetic thing is that I hardly bought any meat at all.

Bloody hell.

New Austerity Redux

Back when all of the chaos ensued, we tweaked our budget to allow us to continue to live without my rushing out to get a potentially horrendous job. We made some major changes, and weren't sure how they would work out. It would probably be helpful for both of us if I looked back to see how well we are surviving.

1. Eliminating the housekeeper. This really killed me, because I love N. She's a wonderful woman that works very hard, and I know that quite a few of her clients were paring back as well. But, it saves us so much money. We're getting better about cleaning, but have plenty of room to improve. Back in January, I put together a schedule of small chores that could be done every day by both of us to keep the housework from becoming overwhelming. We never instituted it, and it would be helpful to revisit that.
   
2. Paring back our allowances. We both have our own personal checking accounts, in addition to our joint household account. So that we didn't have to account for every penny to each other or ask for money, we give ourselves an "allowance" every month. We have both trimmed ours back. I take food with me to work every day, and haven't really had a problem with the amount at all. Can't speak for H, but he hasn't said anything about it.
   
3. Not eating out. We used to go out at least twice a week. Now, if we go once a week it's a real event. It takes more forethought to have meals at the ready, but it is absolutely worth it. And, we're saving money on groceries because we're shopping smarter. The once a month cooking thing is making a huge difference as well. It will be interesting to see how the gardening works this summer.
   
4. Ironing H's shirts. Okay, this is where it fell apart. Theoretically, we could have saved at least $50 a month if I did the ironing. In actuality, I hate ironing more than just about anything else. I have had the ironing board set up in our bedroom for weeks now, and the same stack of shirts is still on it, waiting for me. I just can't make myself do it. So, we're going to take some of his shirts, like his good dress shirts, in and the rest will be hung up as soon as they come out of the dryer. Nice compromise. I think that I can keep the $ spent on it to under $30.
5. Alcohol consumption. I don't drink a whole lot, and I don't drink all of the time. But, I do love a glass of wine with dinner. It is much less expensive, though, if I don't (not to mention, many fewer calories). I don't buy any more than two bottles at a time, if that. Of course, working in a wine shop is much like being a kid in a candy store. I want everything. But, I take it on a day-by-day basis.
   
6. Spa time. I found a new hair salon and am paying half of the price for haircuts. I'm also coloring my own hair. Good thing that I was unhappy with the previous salon anyway.
7. Discontinuing services. We dumped TiVo, our home phone number, and the newspaper. We're still looking to trim $ wherever we can, but this was a big chunk right off of the bat.

It's certainly not perfect, and we still have too much debt and not the healthiest of money habits, but we're making great progress. Now, we just need to sell off all of the extraneous crap that we have sitting around in the house. THAT would make a huge difference both financially and emotionally.

Just What I Wanted to See

Porn in High Def. Eeeeeeeeew.

Childhood Memories Revisited

As expected, we had an enormous amount of snow and cold weather when I was growing up in Chicagoland in the the 70s and 80s. One of the most important tools that we had in the house was our crock pot. Mom used it almost daily. We would come home from school, or inside from playing, and the entire house would be filled with the smell of something wonderful for dinner.

Of course, Mom would be near by exhorting us not to open the lid. The steam is what cooks the food, after all, and opening the lid would add half an hour onto the cooking time. Or, so she said. I could never substantiate that.

I have a 6 quart crock pot that Mom bought for me when I first moved out of the house. It's beautiful, and works wonderfully, but it's huge. So huge that I only use it for holidays or parties. There is just way too much to put into it for two people, even if we freeze half of it and eat lots of leftovers. When Linens 'n Things started their out of business sales, I bought a 4 quart one thinking that the size would be more reasonable for the two of us. It's perfect, but for one small glitch.

When you walk in the door, you smell NOTHING.

I put beef stew in it yesterday before I went to work. I also told H about it, so he was eagerly anticipating the smell and taste as well. When I walked in the door at 8:15 last night, I smelled nothing at all. Nothing. Turns out that there is a gasket on the lid that keeps all of the liquid (and aroma) in the pot where it is supposed to be. H said that he looked at it and touched it to make sure that it was working when he got home and smelled nothing. I checked it numerous times before I left the house but it was early enough in the process that I didn't expect to smell anything.

The stew was wonderful. I will put more salt and pepper and garlic in it for next time, but this was great for a first pass. And, once I opened the lid to check on it and give it a stir, the whole house was filled with the wonderful aroma. But, it wasn't quite the same as walking in the door and smelling dinner.

Sometimes technology isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

It's the Most...

horrible time of the year.

No, that's not really true. I like to jab at the Christmas season because it's so chaotic, but it's really not that terrible. For many, many years the season was dreadful because I worked retail. Christmas shopping tends to bring out the worst in many people, and I've never understood why.

I had about six years during which I was able to enjoy the season. I wasn't working in a store, and was off on weekends (for the most part) and was home every night so I was able to bake, shop, and rest. Now that I'm back in the fray, I have to manage my time more tightly.

This year, I have hardly baked a thing. I did the great majority of my shopping on-line. I haven't really put up any decorations. I did feel a little guilty about it for a while, but I got over it. It's so true that we put all kinds of stress upon ourselves to have the "perfect" holidays, and create such an environment in our heads that we can never live up to. If I were not working, and had unlimited money, I would give Martha Stewart a run for her money. But, that's not an issue.

I'm grateful to be heading to Chicago, and for my family and friends that love me. And, I'm grateful that we're relatively healthy and happy. That is more than enough.

Stocking the Freezer

Pork Tenderloins were on sale at Publix. I bought three of them, split them in half, prepared a marinade of apple butter, apple cider with brandy, and spices, and threw the six baggies in the freezer.

H's mom was kind enough to send us more stuff from Omaha Steaks.

And, when I have felt like cooking, I've made extra large batches so I can freeze some of it right away. There is one more container of Greek Cinnamon Chicken in there ready to go.

It's tiring to think about, but at least we'll have good stuff to eat even when I'm working 60 hour weeks. I need to get the crock pot fired up as well.

Recipe For a Great Party

From what I've heard, everyone had a fabulous time last night. So fabulous, in fact, that the evening didn't end until 3 am. A few observations:

1. Planning is everything.
   
2. So is teamwork. H was such a great help.
   
3. Don't panic when you see the enormous mess the next morning. That's why God made dishwashers.
   
4. Prepare everything that you can ahead of time.
   
5. Use a crock pot.
   
6. Things break. But, things are also replaceable. What's the point of having it if you don't use it?

It really makes me want to start planning the next one.

Dead or Not Dead?

We have two cypress trees in the front yard. The contractors put them in before we closed on the house, and we were never given a choice about what we wanted. But, they seemed to be perfectly nice trees, so we left them alone.

The one by the driveway is lush and big and healthy. The other one is dead, or so I thought. It dropped all of its leaves back in June, and has looked crunchy ever since. But, we left it in place, as the summer is definitely not the best time to plant trees (particularly in the hot South). I had already planned on a nice maple to replace it.

Damned if that tree isn't coming back to life. It's sprouting leaves! Little, tiny, healthy green leaves! What the hell is up with that? It's FALL. Leaves are turning yellow and red and orange and DROPPING. Yet, the stupid cypress in my front yard that had (or perhaps still has) a death wish seems to be coming back to life.

All I want is a maple like the one in the back yard. But, how can I murder a tree that might possibly not be dead after all?

Is It Just Me...

or are coupons getting worse and worse? I would think that with grocery prices skyrocketing that coupons would become more plentiful.

Of course, I could spend a whole lot of time looking for them online, but I don't have the energy for that. Yet. I may have to start at this rate. Thank God it's just the two of us.

It just fuels my loathing of grocery shopping.

Grocery Shopping

I loathe grocery shopping. It's always so expensive, especially now, and the stores are too huge. Main reasons:

1. I'm not good at clipping coupons. I try, but invariably forget to bring them. Or, I don't have enough time to go through the ones that I have thoroughly.
2. I always forget something that is actually written on the list, or forget to put something essential on the list. Yes, even if it's on the list, I'll pass it up.
   
3. I always forget to bring the reusable bags that are in the trunk of my car. Now I have 7 of them and I think that I've reused them once.
   
4. I'm not interested enough to actually shop. I only go in to get what I'm looking for, and never look at the shelves to see what is new. So, I always miss something cool.
5. If H comes with me, and I try not to let this happen, he throws all kinds of scary things in the cart that I don't even notice until the cashier is scanning it. Although, tonight he was pretty well behaved. And, he argues about coupons.
   
6. Kroger is the WORST. The store is dark, filthy, poorly stocked, and even more poorly managed. But, we can get 10 cents off per gallon of gas if we spend $100 in a month. We've gone there for the last few months, but I'm sick to death of it and we went back to Publix anyway.
7. See? Dammit. I just realized that I forgot to buy a chunk of cheese, even though I was in the cheese aisle for 5 minutes. Crap.
   

When I first got sick and was living with my mom, I used to pass out in the grocery store. I don't know if it was all the walking around or the stress of being surrounded by so much food, but it always did me in. I'd last for about 5 minutes and have to go wait in the car... even if it was only 5 degrees out. She was just so worried that I wasn't eating that she would buy anything that she thought would tempt me. Interesting, but that hasn't changed much.

Now, I hate going to the grocery store unless I have a buzz. H and I went to Applebee's first. Two beers and a salad later and I tolerated it pretty well. Plus, it only took about half an hour. I'm having Magellan gin on the rocks now to recover from the trauma.

Busted

It's no secret among my friends and family that I rarely get out of my pajamas before mid-afternoon. My usual MO is that I crawl out of bed, go downstairs, and start working right away. Eventually, I will take a shower and get dressed. Sometimes that does not happen until 5 or so. Life goes on.

A while back, I made the mistake of going down to the mail box at around 4, still clad in my pajamas, and was caught by my nosy next door neighbor and her daughters. One of them asked if it was "pajama day at my school" because I was still wearing mine, and they were all shocked to see me so clad so late in the afternoon. I have also been seen in my pajamas returning neighbors' dogs to them when I saw them running loose through my back yard. I figured that my shame in being inappropriately dressed was less damaging than having a pet lost.

This morning, I went down to the mailbox to put mail out. A truck from the gas company came around the corner, but I didn't think anything about it. Turns out that my friend M had a gas leak in her attic, and the gas company was coming out to shut it off. They told her that they thought that they would be coming to my house when they saw me out in the driveway in my pajamas. It appears that many women do that when they think that they might be asphyxiated if they don't get out of the house RIGHT NOW. But, no, they needed to go two doors down. To think that I had the audacity to be in my pajamas at 8:30 in the morning! Quelle horreur! And this is me on a good day.

M said that it was all that she could do to keep from screaming laughing, because she knew exactly who they were talking about. Bite me, gas company men.