Inappropriate

I understand completely why women don't want to look older than they actually are. Given that I've been obsessed with eye wrinkles and concealer lately, I'm certainly not one to throw stones. However, I have noticed some women older than I am dressing like they are 16.

Here are some things that I swear that I will never do:

1. Wear flourescent nail polish, especially on toes. Orange is the worst. Orange with bunions is even more horrific.
2. Wear animal prints. I don't mean a simple scarf or a purse, but animal prints on everything. Purse. Wallet. Keychain. Shirt. Sandals. Eyeglass frames. I'm sure that they have a house full of that crap as well.
   
3. Show wrinkly cleavage. If you have it, flaunt it. Just look at it in the mirror before you leave the house, please. The only thing grosser than huge plastic boobs is huge plastic wrinkly ones with the wrinkly neck to match.
   
4. Wear rhinestones. Enough. Not everything has to be sparkly. Sadly, when everything sparkles, it draws attention to things that might be best not seen (see wrinkly cleavage).
   
5. Wear skin tight shirts with weird prints and text in foreign languages. Not unlike getting a tattoo in Chinese text and not really understanding what it means. Invariably, those same ugly shirts are covered in rhinestones.
   

This doesn't mean that every woman should be outfitted by Talbot's or LL Bean. Actually, perhaps they should. Blech.